Part One - Six Techno Personalities in Search of an Author
A “tragicomic satire” not based on things that didn’t not happen.
Richie:I’m amazing, I’m Richie Hawtin. I’m amazing, I’m Richie Hawtin.
Come on man keep saying it to yourself.
Gaiser: Sir, sir, may I speak sir?
Richie: What the fuck do you want? Make it quick as I’m busy telling myself how amazing I am.
Gaiser: Sir, can I say you’re amazing as well?
Richie: Oh alright then, and while you’re at it get me a sandwich. Where the fuck is that cup of tea I ordered half an hour ago?
Magda: It's coming sir! I’m having trouble with the kettle.
Richie: What do you mean, you’re having trouble with the kettle? Are you some kind of fucking idiot?
Magda: No sir, it’s just that the kettle has gone all funny.
Troy: Maybe I can fix it sir!
Richie: Get to the back you fuckwit, last time I let you near anything mechanical, you nearly burned down half of Mitte. Well I would go out and buy a new kettle, but why the fuck should I? After all I’ve got you lot and several thousand sycophants to tend to my every need! Now get the tea on Magda.
Magda: Yes, sir. Sir, look at the kettle. Something is happening to it.
Richie: What’s that? That’s not a kettle, that’s The Cube.
Gaiser: Do you want beansprouts and tofu in your sandwich sir?
Troy: Of course he does.
Richie: Get to the back you nincompoop. I’m amazing, I’m Richie Hawtin. I’m amazing, I’m Richie Hawtin. So what does this cube do? Can we get it to say how amazing I am? Does it open up? If it does I could use it to carry my beard trimming kit to my gigs.
Troy: That’s a great idea sir! Truly inspired.
Magda: Get to the back you fuckwit!
To be continued...